


A Good Leg

by yakalskovich



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: F/M, Loki plots, M/M, Tony is spontaneous, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-13
Updated: 2013-04-13
Packaged: 2017-12-08 10:03:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/760109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yakalskovich/pseuds/yakalskovich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At a conference, Tony Stark wears strange garb and attracts the notice of Lady Loki...</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Good Leg

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this picture.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/a50ff0b4198b79c4db75b1f0816aa983/tumblr_ml5i0g6K2f1qzk5wao1_400.jpg)
> 
> Explanations about Stuttgart and the railway station [on my journal, here.](http://yakalskovich.dreamwidth.org/526720.html)
> 
> This is the same continuity as my earlier Tony/Lady Loki fic, [‘Bag Of Cats’.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/431281/chapters/729232)

You never knew what would impress the Germans, and what wouldn’t. John F. Kennedy saying ‘Ich bin ein Berliner’ had impressed them so lastingly that they ended up totally adoring every Democrat US president for decades to come. Iron Man cleaning their secret capital of engineering from a small but nasty Norse god infestation, on the other hand, had impressed them so little, they were back arguing about railway stations within two weeks. Apparently, railway stations were, for some reason Tony Stark could never fathom, seen as a far worse problem in Stuttgart than Loki trying to subjugate its glitterati (such as they were).

Of course for Tony Stark that wasn’t so much a reason for grumbling; more like a challenge. Well, after grumbling to Pepper on and off for a day or two.

So feeling challenged to impress the Germans after all with something entirely unconnected with Norse gods _or_ railway stations, Tony Stark decided to have Stark Industries sponsor a huge tech conference in Munich, something about the Energy Challenge of the 21st Century -- a subject the Germans apparently _loved_ that just happened to be the core competency of Stark Industries. And what’s more, Tony was going to not only deliver the keynote himself (not even Jarvis, this time!), he was even going to bring Bruce to run some workshops for the few select European scientists that did have at least a snowball’s chance in hell of understanding him.

As the icing on the cake, Tony decided the night before the conference he’d do his speech in German national costume. Bavarian. Whatever. By that time Tony had learned that ‘schnaps’ isn’t actually some sort of sticky fruit liqueur, but really some clear, biting, odorless, and very powerful liquor not entirely unlike vodka so that might have clouded his judgement. But he called Pepper about it, and the next morning, before he even woke up, Bavarian leather pants were delivered to his hotel suite, knee-length and brown, with some ornamental oak leaves and acorns embroidered on them, to be worn with green socks and brown hiking boots.

Tony put them on and went to kick off the conference. The journalists went ecstatic, the room mostly cheered, but there were some laughs as well.

And one snigger.

You shouldn’t really hear one snigger through a stadium-sized conference hall full of clicking cameras, cheers, clapping, and laughter, right? So you were probably meant to hear it. So Tony looked around for its source.

And of course, there he was -- or she was, the shape-shifting Norse trickster that Tony had some quite interesting experiences with before, in female shape, changed just enough so people wouldn’t recognise her as him, unless these people were Bruce, of course, or had met her before. Lovely, generous hourglass figure and gorgeous boobs to distract from the cool, calculating and absolutely crazy celadon eyes, expertly hidden in plain sight behind thick, square glasses. She was wearing some tight dark green top under a rather smart black business suit the kind Pepper might have worn (if filled much less spectacularly), and flats, as not to emphasise how tall she really was. Her luscious black hair, however, was tied up with a rather plain and mundane fluffy red scrunchy. Still doing the adorkable geek girl thing, apparently, Tony decided, as she winked at his shocked recognition, and then shamelessly took a few pictures of his bare legs with her Stark phone.

***

Tony knew what to expect from Loki, so he took the precaution of ordering a large portion of sushi with extra wasabi, and an assortment of posh wasabi nibbles, to his hotel room even before he returned there himself after about half the formal banquet with the leading scientists and industry moguls at this conference. People were used to Tony Stark disappearing to where the real fun was, and by now they had even gotten used to his Bavarian trousers.

The penthouse suites in this hotel were rather spectacular, two stories with an impressive skylight or glass roof opening both of them to a typical Bavarian sky during the daylight hours -- flecked blue and white, like their flag. Now, it was opening to a murky, reddish night sky. Munich had no skyline to speak of, but enough light pollution for any city that did. There was one lamp already lit when Tony returned to the suite, and Loki lounging on the sofa downstairs, still in female shape, nibbling sushi and reading through papers from the conference. On the hand that held the print-outs, Tony noticed, she was still wearing the blue ice-cube-shaped jewel that had brought her home to Asgard the last time they’d met.

“Seems my plan worked,” he remarked offhand, while kicking off his shoes and plonking down in the easy chair to help himself to some sushi.

Loki raised an eyebrow.

“My conference is so relevant it even brought a god, or techno-mage, or whatever you call yourself, from Asgard,” Tony clarified. “That’s really very fucking relevant, don’t you think?”

“Why the sudden quest for relevance?” Loki asked, archly.

“Well, the last time I did something impressive in Germany, namely, defeat you, they weren’t all that overwhelmed,” Tony said.

Loki giggled in a really unsettling way. “That was never about them, so why should they be impressed by you saving them? You were so late anyway, I almost had to kill that old gentleman with his laudable if entirely misplaced _zivilcourage_. No wonder they weren’t impressed. They were right, that train station is really a great deal more relevant.

“I was late?” Tony said, pouting at Loki. “For that remark, I should kick you out and eat all the sushi by myself.”

“You won’t,” Loki said, confidently. “You like swimming with the sharks far too much to kick out somebody who is dangerous and who still hasn’t told you why they’re haunting this little get-together you arranged.”

Unfortunately, Tony had to agree.

***

A while later -- a good while later -- it finally was question time.

Loki was sprawling on the bed upstairs, lounging like a large, luscious cat, looking up into the pink Bavarian early morning sky. There was a little bird on the glass roof, a blue tit, watching them, and Loki appeared to be watching it back.

“So, why did you?” Tony asked her while thinking about coffee.

“Come to your little conference?” she said, diverting her attention from the bird. “Well, guess which: I’m working on aligning the technology in your energy source with our magic; I’ve got some secret, complicated and inexplicably inept plan for world domination; or I really wanted to see you again, for the sake of your superior conversation and prowess in bed. Pick one.”

“One, and three,” Tony said, smugly. “Oh, and two. In some way, it’s always two. Or at least you want us to believe that. You have an image to maintain, after all.”

“So do you,” Loki grinned back. “Which is why the ridiculous trousers, I assume? Tony Stark earnestly doing an entire science conference for the sake of the scientific and technological ideas discussed there is just as absurd as Loki Liesmith coming to Midgard only to learn about a Midgardian technology he’s working with in repairing the Bifröst. Bizarre idea, indeed.”

“I knew it would impress them,” Tony said. “All their newspapers will be printing the pictures, so even the people who don’t understand the tech will remember me for my handsome legs.”

Loki sniggered. “You really think it’s not ridiculous, just because nobody tells you so to your face?”

“Legs in traditional leather trousers are important,” Tony said. “This one tabloid even has a competition -- look, here!”

He stretched to reach for his Stark tablet on the floor, winced only briefly as Loki couldn’t resist the temptation to poke him in the side, and then brought up the browser to show her.

“ _Wählen Sie die strammsten Wadln Münchens!_ ” Loki read out loud. “Vote for the most handsome calves in traditional costume, that is. And you think your little conference can compete with an event of such earth-shattering relevance? What were you thinking, Stark!”

Tony laughed.

“Or are you thinking of taking part? Will you be reassured you’re relevant to these silly little mortals you keep saving if they anonymously decide you’ve got nice legs?” she went on.

“I could win that,” Tony pouted.

“I dare you to enter, then,” she said, handing him her phone, with the pictures she’d taken earlier. He took it, hooked it up to his tablet, and downloaded, cropped, and then uploaded the pictures of his calves in one fell swoop.

So that was why Tony Stark, all the way from America, anonymously entered that competition in Munich and won, which had the international press in a frenzy, and social media atwitter, for an entire afternoon about a month later.

And If Tony Stark had activated some sort of tracer on Loki’s phone that would message him the moment it logged into any mobile cell on Earth if it had been gone for a while, and allowed him to find it wherever it was on the planet, that was entirely accidental.

And if Loki rather relied on Iron Man knowing his whereabouts during the long gambit with Amora and Victor von Doom that he was thinking of playing next, that surely hadn’t been the plan all along, had it?

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Paceisthetrick and Gabby, for the beta! They agreed that I use far too many commas. **clings to commas**


End file.
